I Am Listening God!

It has been some time since I have last posted on this blog. So, much in my life has changed in a year that it is hard to believe. Not only has our family grown but, I have changed, grown and been stretched beyond what I thought I could ever imagine.
For years my husband and I have been trying to conceive children. I strongly believe that being a Mother is one of the greatest things that a women can do (not the only) but, I have always wanted to be a Mom.
I will share more on that for another post because I also strongly believe that   infertility is a taboo subject in the Christian faith. This will probably require several posts! Over and over again we see what a blessing children are in the Bible. Psalm 127:3 "Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward.",   and Luke 18:16 "But Jesus called them to Him and said, let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of God.". I could continue to list more..
During our courtship one of the things we discussed was adoption. We both felt very strong that God had called us to adopt and both of us had felt that someday we would. After 8 years of infertility and trying some medications (more natural)  we decided to go further with the adoption process. The avenue we decided to pursue was through our state Foster care program. To adopt through the state you are required to take several classes.
We spent a weekend in the classes with several other couples looking to adopt and some current Foster care parents looking to renew their certification. We all hear the stories about the Foster care system and it's craziness but, you never really hear about the child and babies. Joe and I where on our third class and almost done when they played a video for the Foster care parents. In this video they interviewed prior Foster care children, some had been adopted and some had just aged out of the system.
I was watching this video and my heart broke. I started crying and thoughts just flooded my mind of all these beautiful kids that God had created and given life to. What they had been through and how some would never Know what a family is. Even as I am writing this my heart aches. I left that meeting knowing God wanted us to do Foster care.
Even though I knew God was speaking, I questioned Him! In my mind, I thought about all the heart ache and pain this would mean. Was I hearing right? I had cried, cried and cried for a baby. What if that baby is taken from me??
I went home and discussed it with my husband Joe. I told him everything I believed God was saying to me. We took sometime to pray and within 2 weeks called DHS to inform them that we wanted to open our home for Foster care.
We prayed about what age we wanted in our home (and continue). I believe God wants us to have very specific children. After praying I felt like I wanted to do a newborn. Wow!! This was one of the most rewarding and hardest things I have ever done!! We got a call for a newborn little guy the day after he was born. We packed everything up and headed to the hospital. We stayed every moment with him until he was released. The minute I saw him, I fell in love!!
This perfect little guy was going through some hard times but, was also having so many people happy and loving that he was born. I held him all the time and tried to make sure he did not loose any nurturing. Joe and I believe the first 9 months are the most important in a child's life. After seeing what we have seen and the difference, it is huge!
Here, we now had this beautiful little boy! We would go through so many ups and downs all while experiencing so much joy!! The connection we have with this child will last a lifetime and I truly believed our little miracle baby is the result of prayer and lots of love!
We had him in our home for 6 months and then he left. We are very lucky because we get to watch him grow up and still babysit him. He will always be my first baby and loved! I pray and sing over him whenever I get the opportunity.
While having him leave meant so much heart ache and tears, it also has taught me so much more about God. Psalms 2:12 says "Blessed are those who put their trust in Him."   Listening to God and being obedient was not easy, to be honest. Because, I knew what that would mean but, what I did not know was I would discover a faith and trust in God that I have never experienced.